What to Say to Someone Whose Parent Is Dying: 7 Things That Truly Help

When someone you care about is losing a parent, it can be hard to know what to say. We often worry about saying the wrong thing—or feel helpless in the face of such a personal loss. But being there, with honesty and presence, means more than you might imagine.

If you’re unsure how to support a friend or loved one during this time, here are seven things that can truly make a difference.

1. “I’m so sorry and I’m here for you.”

You don’t need to share profound wisdom. A simple, sincere expression of sorrow and presence is enough. It says, “I see your pain, and I’m not backing away.” That kind of steadiness means everything.

2. “Would you like to talk about what’s happening?”

Grief begins before death—often in silence. Offering a gentle invitation to talk can help your friend begin to process what they’re feeling. Let them lead the pace. Some people will want to talk in detail, while others may prefer quiet company.

3. “Can I bring you anything, or help with something today?”

Specific offers—like meals, errands, or even handling phone calls—can relieve some of the day-to-day pressure. In a time of emotional overwhelm, even small acts of support can bring real comfort.

4. “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

The process of dying is deeply personal—but so is witnessing it. Your friend may feel disoriented, isolated, or emotionally raw. Remind them, in quiet ways, that you're walking beside them—even if you can’t change what’s happening.

5. “It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling.”

Grief is unpredictable. People may feel relief, guilt, anger, sadness—or all of it at once. Let your friend know there’s no “right” way to feel. What they’re going through is human, not something to fix.

6. “Would it be okay if I shared a memory of your parent?”

If you knew their parent, sharing a kind or meaningful memory can be a beautiful gift. It says, “Your parent mattered. Their presence touched others.”

If you didn’t know them, you might say, “I’d love to hear what they were like, if you feel like talking.”

7. “Would you consider preserving some of their stories?”

Many people wish they’d recorded their parent’s voice, laugh, or stories—before it was too late. If it feels right, gently mentioning the idea of creating a legacy video might open a door. It’s not about avoiding the pain of loss—it’s about making space for what still wants to be shared.

When Words Fail, Presence Speaks

You don’t need perfect words. Just being willing to stay close, to witness, to listen—that’s what makes the biggest difference. If your friend is facing one of life’s hardest transitions, the simple act of showing up and being present will matter more than you know.