How to Help a Parent Who Is Grieving the Loss of a Spouse

Losing a lifelong partner is one of the most profound losses a person can experience. For aging parents, it can be especially disorienting—grief is layered not only with heartbreak, but with loneliness, memory loss, and major life changes.

If your parent has lost their spouse, you may be wondering how best to support them. You can’t take away the pain, but your presence, patience, and understanding can make a lasting difference.

1. Be present, even in silence

You don’t need to have the perfect words. Often, just sitting together quietly or offering a warm meal is enough. Grief needs space—and your steadiness can offer a deep kind of comfort.

2. Let them grieve in their own way

Some people cry often. Others become quiet or try to stay busy. There’s no one right way to grieve. Avoid pushing your parent to “move on” or “stay strong.” Let them know that whatever they’re feeling is okay.

3. Ask open-ended questions, gently

Instead of asking, “Are you okay?” (which they most likely aren’t), try:

• “What’s been feeling hardest lately?”

• “Do you want to talk about them?”

• “What’s one memory that makes you smile?”

These questions invite connection without pressure.

4. Watch for signs of isolation or depression

Grief and depression can look similar. If your parent stops engaging in daily activities, eats very little, or seems disinterested in everything for weeks at a time, gently suggest support—from a therapist, grief counselor, or doctor.

5. Offer meaningful ways to remember

Invite your parent to share stories, look through photo albums, or light a candle in remembrance. Consider recording a video conversation with them, where they can talk about their life with their partner. These conversations are often both healing and deeply meaningful.

Help and Support Are Long-Term Offerings

Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. It’s a winding path with no clear finish line. Keep checking in, even months later. Small gestures of care—a text, a shared meal, a walk—can remind your parent they’re not alone.

Legacy Can Bring Comfort

At Timeless Legacy Videos, we help older adults tell their stories in their own words. For someone who has lost a spouse, this can be a powerful way to honor their shared life—and to reconnect with their own sense of self.

Explore our legacy video process